Musing on a sunny day

I don't muse very much here. I generally just write things that are happening with us and leave it at that. However, this past week or so, I have had something ping ponging in my head and I told myself if it was still here, I would sit down and write about it.

On Mother's Day, there was an article in our local paper about older mother's. It was not the worst I have read, but it was still quite unflattering. One thing that I found so tiresome in it, was the comment that so many women put off marrying for their careers. Seriously, it is like an urban myth that just will not die. I remember once being called a career gal, and I could not help it. I just laughed and said "I work". Of all the women I know who did not marry by 30, none of them did it for their career. Oh, sure, we all worked, but it was not Miranda on Sex in the City taking over the world. Trust me, there are far fewer of her than just regular women who work to pay their rent, have fun with their girlfriends, and hope to meet a nice guy. Of all the women who did marry by 30, almost all of them still work. Hmmmmm. The article implies how selfish these "career" women were to not have married and had their children while they were still young. If I had met the right guy when I was younger, I would gladly have done so. I did not. In fact, many of us who did not marry until our 30's have to laugh at some of the things that have been said to us. "Oh, you are not married, so are you at least divorced?". Nope. "Did you at least live with someone?" Nope. And I do not exaggerate with the "at least" at all. Somehow, just being single in itself seemed to be far worse than not having "at least" been married or to "at least" have co-habitated. Really? Why? It would have been so much better had I married at X age, had X children and divorced rather than just be a single woman hoping to meet the right guy? I am sure there are sociologists out there who would tell me "yes". I could give many examples of women who felt that they had to be married by some magic number. Many accomplished it. I can't say all are happy for having done so. In fact, as I was typing this, I had a flash back to college and two women who lived in one of the off campus houses with me. They both were absolutely explicit (breathed it) that if they were not engaged by the time they graduated, they were failures. Oh, and the ring had to be half a caret, no less! Watching them work was awing. Yes, they were both engaged by the time they graduated, married, had children. Last I heard, one married, other divorced. I dated a guy who was very upset his father was remarrying. His mother had been gone for many years. His problem with his father's intended? She was 50 and had never been married. What was wrong with her?

As to the older mother part, again, it would perhaps have been nice to have been younger when I became a mother. But I would not have Libby and right there, even the thought of being younger loses all value to me. I could write pages about it, but will save for another time.

There, I have mused, I am done.