Back in the Blog Saddle Again: Meant to Be

Libby's class made Abraham Lincoln hats and beards-too cute!

This week I was reading a blog that talked about the phrase "meant to be" when it applied to children who were adopted. She spoke of how we needed to be careful when using that phrase with our kids because to them, "meant to be" means that that there was a reason they were torn from their biological families. Many adoptive parents took offense to this. I think most did out of sheer defensiveness. I can understand that. You come under intense scrutiny when adopting and often times feel you must explain yourself. "Meant to be" truly does sound loving and that you saw your child and that's what it was. However, this blogger was asking parents to see what that phrase would mean from the perspective of the child, especially as they get older and begin to question the "whys" of their adoption. How do you explain to your child that through their enormous loss, your family was "meant to be"? You yourself may disagree with this, but it gave me quite a bit to think about. It is one of those phrases that might go along with "she's so lucky". When I have turned it around and said that we are the lucky ones, I have gotten more than one eye roll, and even had someone say "I get that, I am just saying you are great parents and she is lucky". And I get that. They were not saying "poor little orphan who was lucky enough to get parents". They meant it as the most basic compliment. What I try to say now is that we are all very lucky and how wonderful that is. Because, yes, I do still feel that people need to realize that it was not Libby who "lucked out", but that Eric and I were the ones who were so fortunate to have this little girl become a part of our lives. It will be up to her if she feels the same way.

In lighter conversation, Libby now cheats at Chutes and Ladders. Yep, folks, you read it right. We were playing and I told her that if she rolled a 5 with the dice, she would win. She moved the dice around in her hand until the 5 was on the top, and then dropped if very carefully so it did not roll over! My jaw hit the floor. What the heck?

Sunday, we went to the FCC (Families with Children from China) Chinese New Year. We were fortunate to run into several families that we know. Libby had a great time. Circus Juvantus was there and put on a short incredible performance. Libby, Jai and Malia then participated in the ribbon dance (until Libby bopped Jai in the nose and Jai bowed out). We had a very nice time and were glad we got to attend this year. Libby did have a melt down at the end. I think it was such a big day with so much going on. She slept all the way home and then some.

Enthusiastic ribbon dancer

Our house is coming together. Below is a picture of Libby's new room. The beautiful rocking chair in the corner was a present from Eric's parents. It started out in MN, moved to PA and VA and is now back home, blocks from where it all started. We did not have a corner in our house (honest truth, look around next time here) and it never had it's own special spot. Now it does, and it looks perfect. The bed is also a treasure from the family that has come down from Roller side of the family.