How did this past year speed by so quickly when the two years to get to a year ago took so long? I hope you followed that! :) People talk about the pain of labor fading after you have the child. I was reassured the pain of our much longer than expected wait would also fade. It did, but not completely. There are days when it seems so fresh, especially as we start the process again. The bureacracy and jumping through hoops and endless forms bring back strong memories. The reason the old feelings had faded before was because we had our beautiful little girl to focus on and that helped immensely. As excited as we are to have a second child, I was surprised at how those feelings came back. Then I look at Libby and I realize we can do it and it is worth it. It has become my mantra.

One year ago we had landed in Guanzhou after a wonderful 5 days in Beijing. We were so nervous. The feeling of actually meeting this little person whose picture we had stared at for six weeks was just overwhelming. Hearing our names being called and walking up to the orphanage director who placed her in our arms was a blur the moment it happened. Honestly, I can barely remember it except that I was holding this little girl in my arms. I could barely breathe. I saw from the look on Eric's face that he was also barely breathing. We held her together, we took turns holding her. I am sure we frightened her by how intensely we stared at her. "Who the heck are these people and why are they looking at me like that with tears in their eyes"?

The past year has been amazing. It has had ups and downs. Laughter and tears. Joys and sadness. Triumphs and no real failures! I just checked on Libby and said "I love you" and she replied "I love you, too". I think that about sums it up.

We had a nice family dinner last night to celebrate family day. Libby was given the Melissa and Doug cookie set she has been playing with at other houses. Eric and I have been eating a lot of cookies since last night-she loves it. To cap off the evening we had the traditional Roller ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. Libby was too "tuffed" to eat, so unfortunately, Mama and Dada took up the slack on that-yummmm. Lovely day with our beautiful daughter.

How does Monday come by so quickly? We were able to still have a very nice weekend, although Eric had to work all day on Saturday. We made plans to have lunch with Aunt Jenny at a new deli called the Cheeky Monkey. Jenny came to the house and all was fine until she tried to get into the passenger side of my car. No one is allowed to sit there but me, it appears. It has been almost one year, and Libby's reaction has remained the same the whole time, no matter who it is that sits next to me. She screams and cries at the top of her lungs. I thought that perhaps the first time it confused her, but as it has not ceased, we are at a loss as to what sets this off. We drove on, with her wailing in our ears. The Cheeky Monkey went into the old Zander Cafe space and I think they did a beautiful job. Unfortunately, we still had a screaming Libby, so were not able to eat there. We came home and had our sandwiches here. Libby then got over her angst, and as she always does with Aung Jenny, sat on her lap, and played with her and just adored her. I brought Jenny her b-day present and Libby belted out Happy Birthday. Soooo, what the heck is it about the car?

We went to the MN Zoo on Sunday morning to see the baby farm animals. Dang, they are cute. We especially loved petting the goats. We would buy the little handful of food and go into the pen to be attacked. It was quite fun and I think Dada had as much fun as Libby.

Last night, we met friends at the Nook, a neighborhood bar with great burgers. I do not need to eat for a week. Kids are free on Sunday evenings, and I was thankful for this as Libby would not eat a bite because she was having so much fun playing.

Snow is supposed to be heading our way yet again. "Why?" I whine. I like seeing things starting to green. I like wearing lighter jackets. But, I live in MN, so I need to shut up and buck up and just get through it, right?

Need to add that I have a girl who will not put on clothes again today. Nope, a pair of water sandals (very cute ones) and a diaper is all she is willing to put on. I had hoped to get out for a bit-anywhere would have been fine. OK, Target. Days like this make me wonder how my Mom did it with all of us kids. I am not going to try and find out!

Adventures in Sleeping

We had a very nice time yesterday at Rena's house. I wish I had remembered my camera. She is putting together a group for adoptive families. It is to be a support and information group. Mostly however, it is to have our children be comfortable in play and to see reflections of themselves in the kids they play with, both by appearance and the background of adoption. I should say that is what I am expecting and hoping from the group, but am not sure if that is what everyone else expects. It was very interesting for me because the three other families went through WIC, and we were the only family who went through the regular program. After one puts the dossier together, the programs are very separate and different. It is very interesting to hear others stories. I think they will be a great source of information to us as we get further in our process . The kids play very well together, although Lexa and Libby took longer to warm up than they usually do. However, once they warm up, watch out! Peter was a nice addition to the group, not only being a boy, but being a bit more quiet than the two crazy girls. There was not much interaction with Grady, Scarlet and Vivien this time, but I hope that in future meet-ups, they will play together more. Hats off to Rena for making a yummy homemade mac and cheese that you could add other fixings to-yummmm.

Libby decided to wake up at 4 this morning. Eric brought her to bed with us and if I would open my eyes to check on her, she would smile at me at say "hi mama!" very happily. Eric finally gave up and got up, but I was not so willing. Tried to hang in there, but her pleas for "apples, raisins, cheese" finally got me out of bed much earlier than I would have preferred. No matter the amount of sleep Libby gets, she is usually bouncy and happy for the day, so I was quite surprised when I came to check on her, to find her soundly sleeping. She slept from 9-11! I was stunned. Tried to wake her at one point, but she did not even move. It flipped my day, which is not to say a bad thing. After lunch, I asked her what we should do and she said "Library, Caillou book". We had talked about it several days ago, but I assumed she would forget. She did not. We picked up a couple of those books, along with her beloved Clifford. After wards, we went to Creative Kidstuff to play. There is a double stroller there that Libby adores. It is, ahem, $109! Its for a flippin' doll! Soooooooo, we visit it and say "good-bye" when we leave it. Everything in the store was on sale at 27% off today. Nope, did not get the stroller, but got a feeding set for Molly, Libby's favorite doll. She is having so much fun with it as I type.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I have found with Libby in our lives, to just be prepared for anything.

What a weekend!

We had quite the weekend.  There was a birthday party for our
friend Teri on Friday night. We stayed far later than we
should have, and I think we all paid the price for it. Libby
woke up at about 1:00 AM and I have never seen her quite this
way.  She was swinging her arms and so angry. It was almost
scary to see.  We could not even tell if she was really awake
or not.  This went on for almost an hour as Eric and I took
turns trying to calm her, to no avail.  Finally, I took her
downstairs and put on the Curious George movie.  She settled
down a bit.  I would fall asleep off and on (usually waking
up because she had tightened her grip on my arm around her).
Libby would be sitting there with her eyes wide open just
staring at the TV, not moving a muscle. This is so not like
her. At about 3:30, I finally persuaded her to close her eyes
to sleep. Pretty sure she was having a nightmare or a night
terror.

That morning, we were meeting Leeanne, Ron and Ellie at the
Children's Museum for a breakfast with Clifford, or "Hihhord",
as Libby says. Although tired, I am so glad we dragged
ourselves there. Libby was besotted by some poor person
dressed in a Clifford suit.  I cannot imagine what she will
be like when her version of the Jonas Brothers comes along.
She happily had her picture taken with him several times.
She got very upset when he went behind the curtain as they
read a book, and called his name almost the whole time.
She was visibly relieved when he came back. The Clifford
room is absolutely adorable and she had a great time playing
there. However, on the way home,we had a total melt down
coming from the back seat. It was not a pretty afternoon.

I took a hot tub that evening as Eric was trying to put
Libby down to bed. My back and shoulder were killing me
from sleeping on the couch the night before. Came in to
a girl who did not want to sleep.  It is easier if only
one of us sleeps with Libby in our bed, so I told Eric to
sleep downstairs. She fell asleep pretty soon after that
and it was not as bad a night. Love having little feet
up my nose as I am trying to sleep, but at least she was
not kicking.

Sunday late morning, we watched Libby's pal, Tenzing.
His Mom was a little  nervous about leaving him because
he often has a hard time when they separate.  He told
her before they came over that he would not cry at
Libby's house. He did not. We had a wonderful time
with him and the two played well together.  I hope
Heather takes me up on my offer to watch him during
the day so that she can get her hair cut, or go to
the dentist, or whatever she needs to do.

Sadly, it is a rainy, gloomy day and looks like the
week will be like that, too.  Not sure if Libby and
I will just hang out today, or try and head somewhere
to play for a bit.

Wow, what a gorgeous day!

It is unbelievably gorgeous out today. Actually, we have had a few very nice days and it feels long overdue.

I had hoped to work out today, but I have a Libby in the Box, who will not stay put. I am getting a little tired of the constant interruptions and greatly fear that I may be nearing the end of her napping-sniff, sniff. I really need that time for laundry, cleaning, dinner prep, and now, of all things, a nice little work out. I am not sure how I am going to deal with this, but it is far too precious time for me to lose, so I am not giving up quite yet.

Couple of cute Libby stories. She has a new habit of putting her hands on each side of my face and then saying "cute". Uhm, I think I may do this to her a lot. What do you think? We now hear the song "Hello Everybody" from her Music Together class, oh, a couple hundred times a day. However, she has branched out and sings "hello" to our neighbors Tom and Gail, and Dan Dan, her favorite babysitter. I have to say she sounds a bit like Katherine Hepburn when she sings. What, you say? I will have to tape her and post it here so people can make up their own minds.

We are unfortunately, going through a kicking and hitting stage. I am at a loss as to how to stop it. We have tried a number of methods, and none seem to work. Telling her to stop only increases the incidents. Most of the time she does not appear to be doing this out of anger, and many times, she is laughing like she thinks it is a game. The game needs to end, however. She really does have such a sweet and loving personality that I do not think this is going to last long. At least I hope not.

I am having vacation envy right now. Everyone seems to have gone on one or is going on one. I want to go someplace fun and with a beach. I do not see this happening for many months.

Included are some pics from over the weekend. We had a play date with my friend Rena and her daughter Lexa on Saturday. As you can see, Libby has her charming habit of leaning in to all pictures whether they are meant to include her or not. It startled Rena the first time Libby did it, but she had a good laugh. Did not take pictures, darn it, but went to dinner with our friends Colleen and Doug, and their daughter Jai. We went to a cute little restaurant called Carmelo's. It was a lovely evening and Eric suggested we walk. Hmmm, funny how it seemed much closer until we started walking there with a toddler. Libby had her new rain boots on and was a little overzealous in jumping, but had a lot of fun. The dinner was delicious and we were all proud of how well the girls behaved.

Libby in the Box is back, so time to end this entry.

p.s. Just need to add a note that we stopped by at a local grocery store that I had worked at part-time ages ago. One of the managers, whom I have known for a long time, first commented on how cute Libby is. No argument from me. Then she made the comment that Libby does not have slant eyes like other Chinese people, but nice round ones. Uhm, gee, do people really think that is appropriate to say? And I am sure she thought it was a compliment. I mumbled something about people in China not all looking alike, but that it is very diverse as it is a huge country. Not the best response, but I still am not sure what I should have said. I guess I have been prepping for more of a negative as opposed to a racist comment wrapped up as a compliment. Any suggestions welcome.

A Zoo Filled Weekend

On Friday morning, we met Leeanne and Ellie at Como Zoo. It is not only one of my favorite places because it is free, but because it is such a child friendly and fun place to go, which happens to only cost a few dollars in donation. Libby and Ellie are a pair to watch. Libby is just plain goofy and Ellie is much more focused. That is not to say that Libby cannot focus or that Ellie cannot get downright goofy herself. There is a new tropical area at the zoo which we walked through. It was steaming hot. I found out when I got home, that there is a sloth who lives there, and would have looked for him had I known. A trip to the monkey house was a necessity. I love those little monkeys with the big mustaches. They are so cute. The girls were very good for the most part. Ellie has picked up a new habit of politely interrupting to ask what we are talking about. It startled me the first time she did it because it was so polite and cute, but I can understand how it would get old for her Mama. I was almost charmed by it, myself. The attached pictures will show how my little peanut has to pop into every photo, even when they are not supposed to be of her.

Saturday morning, we received a call from Heather asking if we would like to meet her and Tenzing and husband Chris, at the MN Zoo. We had not met Chris yet and decided to skip chores to meet them there. Libby had an "accident" while we were there and we had forgotten our diaper bag (bad parents) and were thankful Heather could supply a diaper for us. Poor Eric had to dry Libby's jeans in the bathroom. After that, it was smooth sailing and a lot of fun. We decided to end the visit at the grizzly bear exhibit. Neither Libby or Tenzing paid one bit of attention to them, although they were a blast to watch as they play wrestled. The otters were also very funny, not that the kids noticed. Nope, they spent there time running up and down a little hill and climbing on some rocks. Libby was wearing her "rock star" jeans, and would climb on a rock and spread her arms and shout "Rock Star". It was quite the sight.

Mama took a break and went up to St. Cloud on Saturday to visit college friends. My friend Scotty opened a bar about a year ago that I still had not been to. Plus, I had not seen any of them in two years. I was over due for a visit. They had completely rehabbed the bar and it was lovley. There was a jug band playing and I could not believe how much fun they were. All in all, I had such a great time seeing everyone. Could not believe it when the bar closed and I was still there! Was even more surprised that when Dan suggested food that I said "yes" and found myself eating sausages and pheasant soup at four in the morning. I paid for it, but it was worth it.

Day light savings seems to have confused our household and Libby slept until 8 this morning. We had plans, but could not snap to it to get out of the house. Instead, we had a nice mellow morning at home.

Words I hate right now

I Help
Myself
Me do it
NO
Mama potty, mama potty

The Roller household seems to be so much busier lately. Eric is very busy with the move to their new, huge warehouse. Hope once the move is complete that his schedule settles down again. His girls miss him. Once it settles down, we will turn to the house and work on getting things ready for a garage sale. We are cleaning house. Then we are going through and fixing all the little things that bother us, but we never correct-hah!

Libby is becoming more and more vocal. Sentences are flying out of her mouth. She is now singing all the time in that cute little voice of hers. Her favorite song is "Hello Everybody" from our Music Together class. Eric laughs that I get choked up when she sings it, but she includes everyone in the house. "Hello to Mama, so glad to see you, hello to Merlie, so glad to see you, too". It's too dang cute for words. Libby has always had a great sense of humor and it continues to grow. She likes to tease and skip the number 4, 5, and 6 when counting. She then looks at you and laughs when she does it. I asked her "what happened to 4?", and now, out of the blue, she will come up and ask me that. However, her f's come would as h's. Needless to say, we are working on those f's! :) Potty training was going great again, and for some reason, she has decided to go back to diapers. There were no traumatic experiences, she just does not want to sit on the potty. I need to develop a new bribe. (Spoke too soon, she very happily went on the potty this morning)

I am doing great. OK, I still have a bit of the stupid cold that half the state has. it just does not want to go away. I am still volunteering at Longfellow. Talk about bringing tears to your eyes. Some of the kids so obviously are not read to or interacted with by their parents. There are kids who have barely progressed since the tutoring started. On the other hand, there are kids who have benefited so greatly from it and it shows. I worked with one boy yesterday who was so jittery he would not sit down. I thought for sure it was going to be a struggle. He is a great reader with very good comprehension. I try to give all the kids praise and encouragement. I have always had a soft spot for teachers, but now spending those hours in a school watching everything going on, I have even a greater respect. I have to be a name dropper here, one of our volunteers is a local actress named Linda Kelsey. She was on "Lou Grant" and does many local theater productions. Our church, St. Mary's has really come through with volunteers for this program and I am so glad my co-tutorer, Kris, developed this relationship with the school.

I have been doing the elliptical as many days as possible. I know I am very lucky to have such a nice machine in the comfort of my home. My jeans have gotten snug, and I do not have any "fat" clothes, so in order to fit into what I have, I need to start working out more. Hmm, and maybe eating less... I almost enjoy doing it, although I do not think that while I am sweating away.

I am heading up to St. Cloud on Saturday to hang out with friends from college. My friend Scotty opened a bar a year ago, and I still have not been to it. I have not seen some folks for almost two years, so I am very excited. Cross fingers Dada and Libby do okay without me!